The historical and social-scientific criticism of John has long been dominated by an interconnected cluster of undertheorized and unhelpful models that have led scholars into unproductive trajectories. In this chapter, I scrutinize three interconnected projects in particular, diagnosing what I perceive to be the individual weaknesses and limitations of each—specifically: (a) the idea of a Johannine community; (b) the idea of institutional or personal links between the supposed Johannine community and Gnosticism; and (c) the idea of a Johannine “sociolect” or social dialect. In my view, the task of renewing Johannine historical criticism—of reigniting research into the origins and contexts of the Gospel and Epistles of John—requires that we frankly confront the failure of these older projects and imagine new projects in their place.